Restart:

Last week I was blog stalking an ex-roommate (with whom I have no real relationship but know a little about her) and everything about her blog seemed fake. It felt like a prepackaged happy-blogger about life, love and food. The entire thing seemed like a facade to appear like her life is perfect so she can get followers. It weirded me out so badly it left me feeling bummed all day, so much so that I have to change the way I approach my blog.

This has to be real or else I'll hate my blog (and probably myself for writing such a cliché blog) in three months, so:

• No more nicknames. Lover's name is Taylor.
• I'm going to be raw at times about life.
• For the record: I really don't care if anyone follows me or not.

That's about all, I guess. Except that Taylor and I made sunflower seeds from the sunflowers in our garden. They're so delicious! They're super salty and they have a really good pop when you bite them and they almost taste like popcorn, which is weird but awesome.

Why I love my weird rabbit and boots

About two months ago my rabbit, Jovi, died. It was surprisingly difficult on me so a few weeks later Lover convinced me to buy the little Netherland Dwarf mix from the local pet store. When we first saw him he was in a cage with the guinea pigs. He would running from one end to the other spazzing out but as soon as you picked him up he would sit quietly in your hand. He was tiny! And he had short ears and a round face so he was unfairly adorable. We named him Rocofella. 

Roco has grown to look more like a rabbit (instead of a bunny) with everything elongating, and his personality is stellar. I think he has some species confusion because he climbs like a cat, sniffs around like a dog and hops like a deer.

 

I also bought myself a pair of combat boots. I get stared at because of them all the time, but I really couldn't care less. I feel BA when I wear them.

That is all I have to say right now about my wonderfully silly life.

Labor Day of Love

This weekend I drove out to California for my aunt's* wedding with my uncle/aunt and their four kids aged 12, 9, 7 and 3. It was an adventure, especially once the seven-year old started throwing up. They're good kids and they like me so it was a good drive even though it was long.

We spent the night in Reno at Circus Circus (where I almost gambled the $5 voucher my 18 year-old cousin picked up but we didn't have time) and a couple of hours in Tahoe catching crawdads (or crayfish for you southerners) and swimming. I love Tahoe. My dad's parents owned a cabin just outside there in Truckee so the Sierra Nevadas definitely say "home" to me. Plus the warm weather, chilly water and the adventure of catching crawdads brings back really good memories. I almost stayed in Tahoe, but I wanted to see my parents and sister/brother-in-law so I didn't.

The wedding was fantastic! My aunt is beautiful. I know everyone says that about the bride, but Ashley is exceptionally gorgeous. See for yourself:

 I love my family. All the time I spent chasing the little cousins (on my mom's side we have cousins almost consistently from age 26 to 1) and talking with my grandparents is special to me. Especially as I watch my grandparents get older I take time to appreciate them more.

This is my mom's dad with my youngest cousin:

Some fun highlights from the trip:

• Ate peach cobbler for breakfast with the Hursts.
• Enjoyed the wedding ceremony because it was personal, tender and appropriate.
• Watched personalities clash in ways I never recognized before.
• Found out Grandma Hurst still has her wedding dress. It's beautiful.
• Received one of Grandma Hurst's turquoise necklaces. It's a newer one Grandad bought her two years ago and she asked me if I would enjoy it. Ummm...duh.
• Realized my three-year old cousin (whose birthday was on Sunday) was almost a carbon-copy of me on my third birthday.
• This is us:

There's really no way to explain my family except that they kick ass. No, really.

*She's technically my aunt but she's 21 years younger than my mom, her sister, and she's only six years older than I am so our relationship has definitely not been the typical aunt/niece one.

4mm white gold size 6.5

Titles are an interesting thing. I once had to explain to a roommate that if she spent everyday with a guy, spent his money, fell asleep at his house and kissed him that he was her boyfriend even she said they were "just friends."

For a year and a half Lover has been asking me to marry him, and every time I would answer, "I want to." I did. I wanted to marry him so badly but I had a variety of issues to figure out before I could marry him. It was a long, tearful, painful and irreplaceable time but I did figure Hilary out.
Then last year, right before Christmas vacation, we had finished a rawly honest conversation and we were cuddling on his bed when he asked me again;
"Marry me, Hilary."

"Okay."
He pulled away and looked me in the eyes.
"Really?"
"Yes. I will marry you."

And so now, nine months later, I'm "officially" engaged. I have my ring and I changed my status on Facebook and we are planning a wedding.And to be honest, making it Facebook official really does make me feel more official.

A lot of people will wonder about the gaps, the time lines and the roller coaster of our relationship, but there's nothing really to say other than we're official and we will continue to be official from now to forever.

Weird. And so wonderful.